She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
