Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
