Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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