Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
