evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
