The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
