Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
