At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
