I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
