it hurts more in the daytime
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
