we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
