Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
