honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
