My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
