Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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