She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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