YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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