Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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