your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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