Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
