I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
