On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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