Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
