Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
