I cockslap morals
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
