Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
