I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
