i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize