Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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