hell yes lets make some ravioli
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
