How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I sprained my soul last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Randomize
