while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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