There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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