Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
