IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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