Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
