im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
