You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
