Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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