Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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