Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
