hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
