yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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