This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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