After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
