dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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