I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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