You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Found your dick twin last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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