Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
