apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
