i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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