i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize