she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
