Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
nutella sex= disaster
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
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You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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