The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
