So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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